it's going to be me some day, and I hope someone waits with me until help arrives

My last trip of the day today was a southbound 4, starting downtown.

The Nicollet buses are detoured to Hennepin, where the 4 runs, so I can't get out of downtown on time. Too many buses.

I was about five minutes late when I turned the corner from 31st Street to Bryant Avenue. One woman got on, then an elderly woman stood in the door and asked me, "Do you go to where there's a bench?"

"Um, well, where exactly do you mean?"

"There's a bench and I can wait there until the bus comes and takes me home. At the end. Do you go there?"

I asked her if she meant the 82nd Street Station in Bloomington. She looked startled by that question. At one of my passenger's prompting, I asked her where she lived.

"Over there," she said, pointing in the general direction of a retirement home.

But I couldn't get any more worthwhile information out of her. She couldn't really say where she lived or where she wanted to go. It was clear that she was very confused.

At this point, another passenger asked her if she could look at her ID. The old lady was OK with that, but didn't have one.

I called Control and asked them to send someone.

Another passenger volunteered to stay with her until the police arrived. Awfully nice.

the 21

I had a pretty decent day on Lake Street. I can smell Thursday coming, though. It's the 1st.
_____

I kicked one guy, who happened to be wearing a bloody hoodie, off the bus after he sat down in the back very loudly, then I watched him take a swig out of his fifth of something clear.
_____

I talked to old guy who told me he was the first of ten siblings. He was a twin, but his brother didn't make it; he was underdeveloped. The old guy's dad didn't take his mother to the doctor while she was pregnant. He told me all kinds of things. He didn't stop talking from Fairview Avenue in St. Paul until we got to Hamline Avenue. Unfortunately, if it was all as interesting as that tidbit, I'll never know. I could barely understand a word he said.
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A very inebriated individual staggered up to my bus at the Chicago Lake Transit Center. As he got on, he said something about St. Paul. I was a 53E, which doesn't even get close to St. Paul. I told him that I didn't go to St. Paul. He assured me he knew where he was going and that he knew where to get out.

I was ahead of schedule at the Midtown Light Rail Station, and made an announcement that we'd have to wait a couple minutes. He told me that he was going to get out and pee. I pointed out that there was no place to pee. It was rush hour on Lake Street. There were people getting off the buses behind me and coming out to the street from the Light Rail Station.

Dude stood in front of the only thing on the sidewalk, a Star Tribune dispenser, and took a leak! Right in the middle of the sidewalk.

I didn't even bother to call anyone. I had one more stop before the terminal and I knew he'd be long gone before anyone showed up. Besides, not counting the very public urination, he wasn't terribly obnoxious and I didn't want him to get into real trouble.

When I got to my last stop on Lake Street, I made an announcement to the whole bus that I was only going as far as the transitway next to Wendy's. I waited for him to exit the bus. When he didn't, I left the stop. Sure enough, as soon as I moved into the left lane to make my left turn, he wanted to get off the bus. I let him out at Wendy's, and the lucky folks inside got to deal with him.

awareness

As part of Severe Weather Awareness Week, the National Weather Service issued simulated tornado watches and warnings Thursday. The warnings featured all the sirens. The bulletin in the garage at work said that we were not expected to physically respond to the sirens when we heard them, but that we should "think about what we would do" if there were a tornado. ha.

Since our instructions are pretty vague- "you and your passengers should take shelter if you think you are in danger," I usually just keep driving and hope for the best. I usually have little idea where we'd go. When I was part time, I got caught in Prestigious West Bloomington during a severe storm with nothing but trees around. I kept driving until I encountered a huge tree across the road.

On Thursday, one thing I thought about was how when I was in elementary school, I figured the Russians would be smart to attack us at 1:00 on a first Wednesday of the month when the air raid sirens were being tested.

yesterday

As I waited to make relief on the 21 yesterday, a cop pulled up to the bus stop. Almost immediately, another one stopped. The first one got out of her car and asked about a kid sitting at the stop. He was with his mother, so they were OK with that. I guess it's nice to see them making sure all the kids get to school.

The second cop left, but was quickly replaced by a third. A guy got out of the back of the new arrival's car and pointed at two fellows walking across the street. Two more cops arrived, including an unmarked car. They arrested the two guys, one of whom asked the pointer, "What I did to you, man?"

So, for those of you not keeping track, that's five cops, one possibly-truant kid, one victim and two perps in about five minutes.

Then my bus arrived.
_____

The 21 has settled down considerably since I drove it last. I was able to keep it on time. But I see the 1st is on a Thursday next month, so I'll be out there again.

An older African gentleman (Kenyan, maybe) got on my bus and asked me if I knew of any law in the United States that said a person can't stand on the sidewalk and ask people if they love the Lord.

I said that I was unaware of any law that said that.

He said a young woman was asking him and another person if they loved the Lord and a police officer issued her a ticket. He claimed that they were simply standing there talking, not shouting, not hassling anyone. The gentleman was pretty upset. Clearly, there's more to the story that he didn't know, right? I wonder why she got the ticket.
_____

My phone randomly dialed Val's phone number while it was in my pocket. Val dated Eric for a while, and we were roommates at Eric's house for a couple months while Eric was out of town. I got a text message:

Who is this

Then another:

Your phone just called me heard you were stopping at lyndale who are you

I noticed the messages and responded at my layover, asking Val how she's doing. I haven't seen or talked to her for at least a couple years, and I'd assumed she'd moved out of the Twin Cities.

CJ?

From aqua? Or whatever its called now dark hair?

I responded:

You're not Val, are you?

It wasn't.
_____

As I waited for the light to change at 17th Avenue, a young guy ran across the street and launched his Mountain Dew can into the curb in front of my bus.

When he got on, I said, "Aw, man! There's a trash can right there!"

And there was one, about five feet from his can.

When he made no move to go get it, I unbuckled my seatbelt and started to get up. "I'll go get it for you." I do that pretty often.

He said, "I'm not going to make you get off the bus!" and went outside and threw it away.

"I didn't want you to leave me!"

I assured him that I wouldn't have left him.

new bus design

In an effort to brand M*tro Tr*nsit, to tie together all aspects of transit in the Twin Cities, the buses and trains will get a redesign. I've been sitting on some images of the new bus and rail designs for a few weeks because I talked to a guy in marketing who had a few reasons that he didn't want them revealed. You know, to the two or three of you still reading this...

But now that a couple buses with the new design are on a tour of the garages, I figure it's fair game. Obviously, they're out and about with them.

So here's what the buses will look like.

All the new buses will come painted this way. The rest of the buses get repainted every few years (every couple years?) and they will get this design as they move through their normal rotation. As you can tell, it will cost no extra money to do this. (That was something the marketing guy wanted me to stress when I got around to posting this.)

Anyway, I like the design pretty well. It's clean. I'm not real crazy about the primary colors, and of course, it'll get mucked up with advertising on the side, but there's not much we can do about that, is there?

The bus pictured is a low-floor bus. The regular buses, when they get repainted, will have the yellow and blue stripe on the side, where the current blue, red and green stripes are.

The light rail design, which I will not include, looks exactly like the current design, with some color changes. In other words, still U-G-L-Y.

(current light rail design, courtesy M*tro Tr*nsit)

The heavy rail (North Star line) looks pretty decent, not counting the engine.

So I hope I haven't jumped the gun here. I like the design. Probably most of all, though, I like change.

back at it

I went back to work Friday after taking three days off to feel better. I struggled a bit and didn't really feel well until today.

I drive one trip on the 133 in the morning. As I drove by Hale School, I saw a man walking his kid into school. The guy was wearing a Camp Ojibway sweatshirt, just like the guy a couple weeks ago, but in a lighter shade of blue.

I drove the 24 the rest of the day. I met a guy who is getting ready to retire. He told me about a coworker of his who had to retire a little early. He had Alzheimer's, and no one knew it until he got lost on his way home and ended up in Northfield.

Another guy told me he has been working for 56 years! He didn't look that old and I told him so. He said he started as a kid working in the cotton fields and has been working ever since.

Later that day, during rush hour, a guy jumped on my bus downtown. He whipped out his driver's license and showed it to me. It was unremarkable in every way.

"My car's in the parking garage and I just need to get to 17th!"

???

He could have said, "I have a frozen pizza in my refrigerator at home and I just need to get to 17th!" and it would have meant the same thing to me.

But I was in a good mood and let him ride.

go greener

As most of you know, M*tro Tr*nsit has purchased a number of hybrid buses over the last few years. Right now, they are primarily being used on routes that travel the Nicollet Mall in downtown Minneapolis. Starting in 2010, all the buses on the Mall will be hybrids.

On Friday, though, when I checked in to drive the 24, I was given a hybrid bus.

(not this one)

Northbound, the 24 line snakes through the Longfellow and Seward neighborhoods before taking Franklin Avenue to Park Avenue, through the Elliot Park neighborhood and into downtown on 9th Street.

The dispatcher reasoned (correctly, in my opinion) that the people who ride lines other than the Nicollet Mall lines need to see the hybrid buses.

And really, the Seward and Longfellow neighborhoods have a pretty large percentage of green-thinking individuals, so the 24 was a fairly logical choice of lines on which to put a hybrid bus.

And the people of the 24 were very excited. I answered questions about the bus all day. Yes, I do like it. It's a nice ride and it accelerates very well. Yes, very quiet and much fewer emissions. Yep, we do lose some seats because of the low-floor design. Love the wheelchair and walker ramp (vs. the lifts). Slightly better gas mileage, but given the number of miles these buses will travel, it'll save a lot. etc. etc. etc.

And I felt like an absolute hero every time I drove by the Birchwood Cafe, with the hippies sitting outside, waving and grinning at me all misty-eyed as they nibbled on their grilled abalone mushrooms and polenta...

brutal

The mighty and capricious gods of transit did not smile favorably upon me yesterday.

The teeming masses are still flush with money from their big payday earlier this week, so the 30-ring circus that is Lake Street was full on. I ended up 18 minutes late to my terminal on my first trip on the 21. I pretty much made up that time on my second trip, then ran 12-to-15 minutes late on my third. I had to DROP OFF ONLY for part of that third trip.

I talked to one guy who's awfully concerned about the state of the country (aren't 81% of us!). He told me that he has his money in a bank in Quito and a boat docked in Florida ready to set sail for South America.

The highlight of my day happened when I was driving the 53. A guy ran from the 21 behind me at the Chicago-Lake Transit Center. His transfer had expired and the farebox took money off his card, so he asked me to put it back on and then ran back to the 21. Funny enough, but that wasn't the great part. Although I can say with certainty that he has not been there for at least 30 years, if at all, he was wearing a late model Camp Ojibway hoodie! (My parents directed C.O. for the first 18 summers of my life, and I spent an additional two summers there as a counselor.)

drove the school bus today

Interesting choice of colors, there, marketing...

it's the 1st of the month

Everybody got paid today and I drove the 21. Ugh.

It was crazy out there. I had standing loads where I do not usually get them. I ran five-to-ten minutes down for a few hours. I got tired.

As I approached Marshall and Cretin on my second eastbound trip, a guy jumped out from behind the shelter with his thumb out, like he was hitchhiking. He was Super-Energy Boy. He jumped on my bus and dropped off his groceries. Then he handed me his transfer and leaned in close to me with his head parallel to the floor.

"Still working, huh?"

I confirmed that I was, indeed, still working and noted the strong smell of booze on his breath.

We moved along Marshall without incident and turned onto Snelling.

As I prepared to make a stop at the first stop on Snelling, the car in front of me inexplicably opted to stop. I had plenty of room in front of me, but I had to slow down faster than I would have liked.

A woman who was making her way to the front of the bus lost her balance and had to catch herself. Of course, it's not easy to catch yourself when you're holding a phone to your ear.

One of drunk dude's grocery bags fell into the woman.

"It's not your fault," he said.

"I know, it's the one who's driving this thing! It's the driver who's a damn idiot!"

Uh, that's me. "Have a nice day!"

A few blocks later, I hit a big water-filled pothole as I stopped to let Drunky off the bus. This time, the stop would have been as smooth as usual if it weren't for the pothole.

He said something about my brakes and something, blah, blah, something, something. Yeah, have a good one, dude. You might be able to keep your balance if you weren't loaded...

Fortunately, I turn into the 53 midway through the day. Everything settled down by then.

I was glad to get home this evening.

made me laugh

Today an old man boarded my bus.

"I don't ride the casino bus! I like your buses. I gamble that my transfer'll work!"

what were they talking about?

Yesterday morning, as I drove by WCCO on the Nicollet Mall, I saw the MIC ON and ON AIR signs. The anchors sit with their back toward the mall when they do some of their broadcasts.

As I approached the intersection, the anchorman turned around, looked out the window and waved at me.

I waved back.

randomness

Yesterday on the 11:

An old lady boarded the bus. A young guy stood in the doorway. "What bus takes me to the Convention Center?" The old lady said, "This one, freeloader!" The guy paid me with a 31-day pass.
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Yesterday on the 24:

A woman exiting the bus turned to me and said, "The robber barons are starting to get their comeuppance!"
_____

Today, at a layover at Uptown Station, another driver said, "Hey CJ! I heard you were going to go full time as an instructor!"

?!?

I assured him that I was very low on the list of relief instructors, so the opportunity wouldn't be there for quite a while.

That's an odd rumor.
_____

I paid $.25 for this cup.
It's a pretty nice cup and everything, but I wish it would have come with the hot chocolate that I thought was going to be in it.

thanks, random passenger

When I checked in with the dispatcher the other day, he gave me a note to see my manager. There are always two sheets of paper. The first has my name, my manager's name, etc. and the reason for the note.

This one said Customer Service Call. "Oh, geez, what now?!?" I whined as I opened it to the second page.

Incident Code: 1202 DRIVER COMMENDATION

Really?

Customer Description
Caller said driver was kind to everyone. Caller said he is just a good person to everyone.

Um, cool. I make light of much of the positive feedback I get from M*tro Tr*nsit. I appreciate it, I suppose, but I don't really have a lot of use for certificates and pins. It's the time off I really like.

A customer commendation, on the other hand, is something that I genuinely appreciate. It's common behavior to call and complain, and to take the time to call and praise a driver or say thanks is really a nice gesture.

more fun on Franklin Ave

I kind of miss the 2. But I drive the 24 twice a week now, and it goes down Franklin Avenue, so I get a small taste of what I'm missing.

Friday evening, on my last trip of the night, I got behind an older green Bonneville headed west on Franklin. We caught a red light at the stoplight by Aldi. The light turned green, the first few cars moved along and we... sat behind the green Bonneville.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Franklin Avenue is a showcase of the worst driving in the state. So this wasn't really anything new. I gave the driver about fifteen seconds and honked my horn. Nothing.

The fourth rule of the Smith System of Driving is Leave Yourself an Out. It was written for times like these. As I slowly passed the Bonnesville, I checked out the driver. He was an older guy, sitting upright, and his eyes were closed. Hmm...

I pulled into the stop that was just past the stoplight and called Control. As I was explaining the situation to the Control supervisor, I watched a woman run over to the car, open the passenger door, talk to the driver, and walk around to the driver's side. By her gestures and behavior, I am almost certain that she did not know the driver.

The driver got out of the car and got in the passenger seat. The woman got into the driver seat. She drove the car around me and down the street to my right. She found a parking spot, parked the car and got out. The woman briefly spoke with the original driver and left. The original driver got out of the passenger seat and back into the driver seat.

Meanwhile, I had detailed the entire episode to Control. Since I wasn't sure of the guy's condition (seizure of some kind? drunk?), we chose to treat it as a possible medical emergency. The reality is that it's very likely he was drunk.

Whatever it was, I hope he's OK. And that woman who got him out of the street deserves a medal.

back on the 21

It's been quite a few picks since I drove the 21. I think. Maybe it hasn't been all that long, but it feels like it.

I drive it twice a week this pick. I thought it might be too much, but I change over to the 53 midway through the day and that, as I think I've mentioned, is like turning into a breezy, floaty butterfly after a long, meaningless existence as a slow, plodding caterpillar.

Yesterday, a woman got on and recognized me. She'd ridden and chatted with me on Tuesday. I think she might be about my age or possibly a bit older. She's in grad school at the U.

The woman sat down next to me in the peanut gallery. There was a young guy sitting behind me, across the aisle from her. She said something about school- it's tough right now and she's looking forward to Spring Break. He said, "That must be hard. I'm glad I only went to MTTC." (Yes, he was talking about MCTC.)

He told her (us) that he had gone to school to get his gemology certificate, but had to drop out because of non-school related stress.

Then he looked at her ring. "It's sapphire! Is it real?"

She assured him that the ring, sapphire encircled with diamonds, was real. He asked her how much it cost. She said $2500.

He told us about where sapphires come from. Then, he leaned closer to her ring, looked carefully and said, "I think some of those are zirconia."

ha ha!

When Gemology Dropout got off the bus, the woman told me her boyfriend, who bought the ring, was going to get a kick out of that!

bus 2372

When I got my bus assignment this morning, I thought to myself the same thing that I've been thinking for the last week or two every time I see a 23XX bus. Shouldn't that pile of junk be in the bus graveyard? The 2300s are fourteen years old, and as far as I know, the goal is to get rid of the buses by the time they're twelve.

But I wasn't too annoyed. Some of those 2300s are pretty fast. Bus 2372 is a fast one, and it seemed to be a decent bus. After one-and-a-third uneventful trips, however, my passengers and I found out otherwise. We were headed north into downtown when I noticed that the bus was getting jerky. Very soon after that, it was clear that the transmission was not right. Then, when the DO NOT SHIFT (TRANS) light came on and the bus refused to move, I knew we were in real trouble. I shut the bus off, restarted it, and called Control as soon as we got moving. Control advised me to shut it off for three minutes, so that's what I did at Franklin. But it did no good. We were late and only going to get later.

The bus was super jerky. It quit every few blocks, requiring me to restart it. I hobbled through downtown and into NE Mpls. My follower caught up with me and took all my passengers except one lady, who seemed to enjoy the adventure.

Finally, the bus got stuck in 4th gear and didn't quit on me, so I was able to make it to my northern terminal about seventeen minutes late. I waited for a replacement bus (2379!) and left about fifteen minutes down. Control filled part of my trip, so I put up my DROP OFF ONLY sign at DeLaSalle High School. I was empty at 10th Street, and I actually got back to the garage early.

It's my short day, so I'm done for the day. I'm ready for a nap.

never did like the maths

It's common for passengers to ask me what the fare is upon boarding the bus.

Today, though, I got a new one. The fare was $1.50. A lady boarded and put a dollar into the appropriate slot. Then she asked me, "How many quarters?"

WHO DO I LOOK LIKE? PYTHAGORAS? PASCAL? PLANCK?

Division? No thanks. I quickly decided to add 25 until I got to 50, keeping track on my fingers. The answer was 2.

interaction

My very early Wednesdays are always pretty quiet. People aren't inclined to talk very loudly at 5:00 in the morning, I guess. I like that, because I'm already annoyed that I got up at 4:00 and I'm often in just-don't-hit-anything mode.

The other day, though, a guy boarded my bus on my second trip and almost immediately started talking. To me.

Fortunately, he was a very Daff-ish individual (does that link work?). I had a hard time understanding much of what he was saying. He was pretty excited about his new cowboy boots. And he has a long goatee that he's planning to braid. Excellent. I hope I see him again.
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The next day I was driving the 2 and a guy got on the bus and sat in the peanut gallery. He asked me if I'd ever played a role-playing game. Sweet.

Well, I have, kind of. I think it was in about 7th grade. I joined my friends Billy and Reed a couple of times when they played a remedial version of D&D. And that's what I told him.

He got kind of excited and asked me if I'd ever heard of online role-playing games like World of Warcraft. I have heard of them. I've never looked at anything like that, though, unless you count the three or four minutes I was on the Second Life site.

But I told him that I have heard of the online games. He got even more excited.

He started talking about ten-sided dice (percentile dice?), whiteboard (?), how I only have to make one chart (?), something called Mythic, and all kinds of other stuff. I think I gathered that it was a way he was going to set up role-playing games with friends and family around the country without a central host site.

But really, I had little-to-no idea what he was talking about. However, he assured me more than once that I already understood way more than his psychiatrist did- so I have that going for me.

so... we meet again

I saw 2165 a few times today. Here he is the first time I saw him:
Here he is the second time I saw him:
Here he is the fourth time I saw him:

couple things

The other day at around 6:00 PM, a young guy bounded up my stairwell and dropped two quarters into the coin slot. Then he stood there and dug around for his dollar. I was wondering, as I always do, why people don't wait until they have all their money together before they give it to me. (Of course, I can't figure out why they don't have it in hand when they get on the bus, but that's another bitch session.)

So I got the $1.50 and informed him that the fare was $2.00, because it wasn't 6:30 yet. He looked at me with a straight face and said, "You shoulda told me that before I put 50 cents in!"
_____

Today, as I sat eastbound on the SW corner of Franklin and Nicollet waiting for a green light, a guy ran across the intersection diagonally, from the NE corner, where Acadia Cafe used to be (sniffle).

That's a busy intersection. I really hate it when people stop traffic and nearly get hit trying to get to my bus. Obviously, it's not my fault, but you know, I feel a bit responsible. So far, thankfully, I haven't seen anyone get hit. Sometimes if I'm in the wrong mood, I don't pick them up. No need to reward stupid behavior. Sometimes I wait for them and scold them when they get on the bus.

Anyway, this guy avoided at least one car and then stood in the middle of the intersection waving at a left-turning car, indicating for them to go. They did not go. He ran in front of them (and at least another car) and to my bus. The occupants of the left-turning car whooped the car's siren, put on its red and blue lights and presumably wrote the dude a ticket for jaywalking. Idiot.

glad to be home

I make relief, or take over the bus from someone in service, on Tuesday mornings at 46th and Nicollet. Then, after a round trip on the 11, I get relieved at 46th and Nicollet. I save a lot of (nap) time by driving our car there.

This morning, however, I had to pull out and wait. I pulled a bus out of the garage and drove it down to 46th. That meant that I had to catch a bus back home. I lost several minutes of valuable nap time.

Turns out, I could have used it.

The mighty and capricious gods of transit turned on me this evening. I'm not sure what I did to deserve what I got, but I just downed a sacrificial Old-Fashioned in hopes of appeasing them. I hope they're cool now.

My first three trips on the 2 were pretty decent. The U of M is back in session, so I was a lot busier on that end than I have been for the last few weeks, but you know, thank the aforementioned gods for Go-To Cards!

On the fourth trip, I picked up a customer in a wheelchair. After I dropped him off, I was only a couple minutes down. No problem. Then it took me almost four minutes to make a left turn off Franklin at 26th Avenue.

And everything went downhill from there. Traffic was bad. Super-drunks wanted to go downtown, where I was not going. My bus filled up.

I lost my whole layover and then some; I left the eastern terminal about six minutes down. Then I hit traffic and my bus filled up. I was ten minutes down when I picked up the same guy in a wheelchair going the other direction. Then I picked up another guy in a wheelchair. Then there were people screaming and arguing behind my bus at the light rail stop.

Then I was 17 minutes down.

Then a brave and kind Control Supervisor was made aware of the trials and tribulations foisted upon me by the mighty and capricious gods of transit and intervened. I hope his actions did not incur their wrath. He filled my last trip (got someone else to drive it) and I came home early. Sweet.

customer complaint

As soon as I got to work yesterday, the dispatcher handed me a customer complaint, and for once, it wasn't someone claiming that I'd "passed them up."

Apparently, somebody felt that I cut them off.

Of course, it's entirely possible- probable, even- that I did. The person who complained seemed relatively reasonable and perception is reality, right? They noted that they were aware of the fact that they are required to yield to a bus coming out of a stop, but claimed that we were even at the stop until I bolted out in front of them and cut them off.

We were sitting at Chicago Avenue, eastbound on Franklin Avenue. The bus stop is in a right turn only lane. One lane continues straight and one lane is a left turn lane.

Here is what I do at that stop, and every stop like it.

When I'm ready to go, I put on my left turn signal, to indicate that I'll be leaving the stop. When the light turns green, I'll have already scanned the intersection, so I... wait for it... go.

I go straight forward, toward the parked cars on the other side of the intersection. That gives the cars on my left enough time to get past me. How many cars? Two. That's typically how many have time to get by me by the time I'm going to move back into traffic. Two cars sit next to the bus at a stop. The third is back far enough that they can wait for me to get in front of them.

Of course, it doesn't always work like that. Sometimes, the third car rides the second car's bumper and refuses to let me in. Then three cars get by me. Sometimes one of the first two cars is not paying attention when the light changes. Then I move forward and they do not. At that point, I often make my move to their lane and "cut them off," as they figure out that the light is green about the time I'm almost past them.

I can't remember the incident in question for sure, but I'm guessing that the complainer was someone who was not paying attention. I do remember having to stop in the middle of that intersection sometime last week because the first car next to me started too late, then rode alongside my rear tires. But they didn't pass me as I slowed and stopped, so I went ahead and got into their lane. I guess an argument could be made that I had cut them off. Again, I have no idea if that was the person who complained, but if it wasn't, then I have absolutely no idea when I would have cut someone off.

However, something about the story didn't quite ring true. The complaint stated that we were sitting side-by-side at the light and that I "bolted" out in front of the car in question. Really? I "bolted" somewhere, anywhere, in my 0-to-60-in-three-minutes rocket ship? Awesome. Um, or... not likely.

homeless guy, not too cold yet

One of our more well-known mentally ill homeless guys, or as I like to call them, Ronnie's Boyz, rode with me today.

He rides with me fairly frequently and I kind of enjoy his company.

Today he started by asking me if I knew there was a possum season in Minnesota. I did not. He said that people eat them; I guess that doesn't surprise me. Then he told me that he likes raccoons, but only if they've been killed by a dog, not if they've been shot or run over by a car. Apparently, the glands get destroyed and ruin the flavor in the latter two instances.

At this point in the conversation, he had thawed out pretty well and I could really smell him. Ah, whatever. It wasn't bad enough to apply a layer of deodorant under my nose.

He told me about animal research that gets done in a building behind "Mariachi" Arena.

Then we didn't talk for quite a while. As he got off the bus, I saw that he'd pulled out a full bottle of rubbing alcohol. Bummer.

yesterday

Three people were waiting at a stop on 38th Street yesterday. Two of them were older women, the third a younger man.

One of the women was first on the bus. She leaned in close to me and half-whispered, "The lady on the bench isn't riding the bus!"

I screamed, "Not if I have anything to say about it!" and jumped off the bus, grabbed that lady sitting on the bench by her arm and dragged her on the bus. I threw her into a seat and took off. Now she was riding the bus, dammit!

Or maybe I just kind of said OK or something...
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A woman got on with her two daughters. They sat behind me and discussed the girls' day at school. Much of the time, they talked about a spelling (or some kind of word) test that one of them took.

The mother had some kind of Caribbean accent, I'd say medium-heavy. The little girl had me in stitches because she kept telling her mother that she was saying the wrong word.

"No, not sheep! Ship!" And the mother would say one or the other, and they really did sound very similar. Eventually the mom gave up and moved on. And lest I sound like an insensitive clod, mom was laughing, too...
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Two Roosevelt High wrestlers got on and sat in the back. A few stops later, a South High wrestler got on. He sat in the middle somewhere. I'm not sure if he noticed the Roosevelt guys right away or not.

I got on the PA and suggested a tournament to see who would be the Bus 528 Wrestling Champion. I mentioned that my dad used to be a wrestling coach and that I probably remembered enough that I could be the referee.

Once again, my passengers were not nearly as amused as I was.

falling

I went to my niece's 2nd birthday party last weekend. Her great-grandmother fell down the stairs and landed a few feet from me. She broke a rib and a collarbone, but it sounds like she'll be OK.

A couple days later, I stopped for a woman along 38th Street, while driving the 23.

I could see that she was unsteady on her feet. Because of the snow banks, I had to stop a few feet from the curb. She made it to the bus, grabbed the handrail on the door, hauled herself up and then her legs folded under her. She sat on the bottom step and tried to pull herself up. She did not appear drunk. It looked more like she might have a neuromuscular condition. She was very unresponsive to me and seemed disoriented. I asked her if she wanted the lift. She eventually agreed to that. As she tried to get off the bus, she fell backward onto the ground. It wasn't a hard fall and she didn't hit her head, but it was still rather alarming.

I got outside and asked her if she was OK, if she wanted medical attention, etc. She laid on the ground and stared at me with wild eyes. Something was clearly wrong, but I couldn't figure out what it was. She eventually told me that she was trying to get to a store for some Gatorade. So she was dehydrated? It crossed my mind that maybe her blood sugar was low- I bought a diabetic passenger a Coke once when he needed some sugar in his system- but I didn't have anything but water.

I sat her upright and she sat on the ground with her elbow on the bottom step. I asked her again if I could call an ambulance. She asked me if I thought they'd have Gatorade. I said I thought they'd have something. She said to call.

I called Control and asked for an ambulance. The ambulance arrived and they took her.

I was talking to a friend 0n New Year's Eve who is diabetic. He and his wife were quite sure that the woman was suffering from hypoglycemia. She exhibited several symptoms of neuroglycopenia. And now I know.

the 2

I pulled up to a small crowd at 26th Avenue and Franklin Avenue this evening. As they were boarding, a guy walked across the street in front of me. He was carrying two snow shovels. As he walked in front of me, I could hear him saying, "You're a good bus driver! I'm impressed! God bless you!"

And I, of course, assumed that he was going to be looking for a favor.

Sure enough, he told me that he didn't have any money, but that he was "only going" to ___. I explained to him that he still needed to give me $1.50. He said he needed to go find his money.

He walked to the back and set down his shovels.

I was watching traffic and pedestrians, so I wasn't watching him. I figured he'd come back up and give me a few cents. As soon as I pulled away from the stop, a woman who was sitting behind me and to my right jumped out of her seat. I thought she realized that she had wanted to get out at the stop where we had just been. But when I looked in my interior mirror, I saw the cause of her alarm. One of my passengers had his hand on the throat of Shovel Guy, and was saying something about how he was a paying customer. He called SG a drunk. (I had smelled it on him, too.)

I pulled over at the next stop. I told Shovel Guy that he had to get out. He was saying that he thought the other guy was going to shoot him.

I assumed that SG was the problem, and frankly, I didn't care if he wasn't. I don't usually need much of excuse to boot someone who hasn't paid or has shorted me.

He went to the back and grabbed his shovels. He came to the front and pulled out a pile of bills. OK, great, dude. You did have money all along. I told him to get out. He left, but not without running his mouth. I don't know what he said.

On my way back the next trip, I picked up the other guy again. He laughed when he saw me and said he hoped Shovel Guy wouldn't be on the bus again. I assured him that I wouldn't be letting SG back on. Then he told me that SG had spit at him, and he apologized (several times) for doing what he had done. I told him that I figured he hadn't started it and that I was more than happy to unload Shovel Guy. The guy told me that SG spent a lot of time in the area where I picked him up trying to hit up elderly people for change. The other guy told me that his mother lives near there and she's had trouble with SG, so he wasn't too happy with him to begin with.

Then, on my final trip of the evening, I pulled up to three people at Franklin and Chicago. The first two were young women. The last guy was, naturally, Shovel Guy. It was dark out so I didn't recognize him at first. But he got on and said, "I'm better now." I stared at him and told him to get out of my bus. He repeated "You're still a pussy!" over and over and something about how he'd find me again. But he got off the bus without incident. I'll remember him.

accidents, other stuff

Yesterday, on the 23 line, I was waiting to finish my right turn onto Lake Street from Hennepin Avenue. The light was about to turn yellow. As I checked traffic to my left, I heard a THUD and looked back to my right. All I saw was a blue-green Chevrolet Cavalier and a lot of cans of food rolling down the street.

I had to ask my passengers if that car had just hit someone. It had. It was kind of weird. The driver didn't brake, at least that I could hear. He was clearly finishing off his turn in the yellow light. She must have been in his blind spot. I absolutely don't want to excuse not looking where you're going, but it happened in the middle lane, so the woman who got hit very likely should not have been there.

I hope she's OK. I haven't seen anything in the news, so I assume she's still alive.
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I got to the 17W terminal yesterday up in Northeast and a street supervisor showed up. She asked me if I'd written an Operating Conditions Report about the westbound trip I was about to make. I hadn't. Apparently someone is having trouble with overload and time issues.

I've driven that work on Fridays in previous picks and this pick I drive it Monday and Friday. I've never had a real problem, but Mondays and Fridays tend to be lighter days of the week.

So the supervisor followed me and I kept it on time. But I noticed something interesting.

BREAKING NEWS (and it's not good):
Kassie just pointed out to me that Dara Moskowitz Grumdahl, the food writer for our biggest local free weekly, City Pages, is leaving next month. Oh boy, does that suck. Unless Demko has written a cover story, I barely pick up CP anymore, other than to read Dara. Yeah, that poor paper has really declined ever since Village Voice Media put some turd named Kevin Hoffman in charge. And no, I don't know him, but I do know that a lot of really good writers have left that paper because of him.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh. I probably picked up 35 people on that trip and all but about five of them paid with cash! See, we have this great little thing called a Go-To Card now, and pretty much every route I drive has a large percentage of people who use it in one form or other.

I think the marketing department needs to get themselves to Northeast Mpls and spread the good word. That would certainly make that trip easier to keep on time!
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I had to detour today on the 11 because there was a rollover on 3rd Avenue a couple blocks north of Franklin. As Kassie pointed out, it would take some serious effort to get going fast enough to roll a car in that area.
[update: the story, thanks to Kassie's sharp eyes]
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Today, as I was waiting for a bus, a school bus pulled in to the convenience store across the street. The driver (I think) got out and went inside. About two minutes passed. Then someone inside the bus started honking the horn. The driver came out of the store, appeared to make a walk through on the bus, then went back inside. She was still inside when my bus showed up. I thought it was odd that a driver would stop at a store with kids on her bus. Maybe it wasn't the driver I saw. I don't know...
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Jesse rode my bus this evening. He was our wedding photographer.
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I have to get up very early in the morning. That does not please me.

the 2

I'm back driving bus again. It's been almost two weeks.

Today is my straight nine hours on the 2 line, a.k.a. Connect the Drunks, a.k.a. The Distracted, Disinterested, Desperate and Dangerous Driving Showcase. It went quite well, but I lost track of the number of other vehicles that either turned out in front of me or cut me off. It was the worst I've ever seen it today. Ah, well, it keeps me on my toes.

The highlight of the day was my brush with fame.





That's right, Mr. Chocolate Rain, Tay Zonday himself, rode my bus. He did not sing us a song.

last week

I spent last week teaching five new extra board drivers all of the routes we drive out of Nicollet.

You may recall that I used to work the extra board. It was a good way to (occasionally) get decent work when I had very little seniority. The extra board is a list of pieces of work. The work can get put on the board for a lot of reasons. I won't list all of the reasons, but when drivers are sick or haven't shown up, or take a vacation day or go to a Transit Ambassador or Safety Keys class for the day, their work gets added to the extra board.

The extra board gets created every day. The dispatcher who compiles the board needs to know by noon if a driver will be back to work the next day. If he doesn't know that a driver will be back, their work will go back on the board.

If a driver doesn't show up for work, and no one knew a day in advance that they wouldn't be there, a call driver has to cover it. On-call shifts are built into the board. Some can be picked, others get added to the mix. Call drivers sit at the garage and do bus changes, fill in trips for late or broken down buses, and go out for drivers who don't show up.

I really enjoyed working the extra board. I did something different every day. The drawback is that I never knew what I was doing on a particular day until 5:00 PM the day before, which is the earliest drivers can call in to get their work.

Anyway, the point is that to work the extra board, a driver has to know every route out of a garage and everything about each of those routes. It's a lot of information.

The drivers I trained last week each knew some of the routes they needed to know. But not everyone knew the same routes. Some knew parts of some routes, but not necessarily the same parts that others knew.

So we just pushed through. I can't remember if we actually looked at every single route out of Nicollet, but if we didn't, it was close.

Six bus drivers, one van. The only thing that everyone is guaranteed to have in common is buses. So what do we talk about? Buses. Bus stories. Passengers. Bus stories.

Ugh.

I'll confess that I'm guilty, too. But I try to keep my stories relevant, short and on the positive side of things.

The group I had was pretty good, really. Nice people. I heard plenty of negative comments about traffic, passengers, whatever, but it never got out of control. I've been in group situations with drivers where the negativity took over and it became a black swamp of bad stories. Thankfully, that never happened.

Sometimes when I tell people that we take drivers out to show them the routes, I get asked why we can't just give them a map and turn them loose.

Here is a map from a hand schedule. Our maps are similar, but with additional notes all over them.


It's not rocket science by any means, but it can get very confusing. There are turns and lane changes that need to be explained. For instance, on the route above, there's no way to know that to get to the Southdale Park and Ride, one turns into the second driveway on 69th. But for some pieces of work, we go into the first driveway and wait in a different place.

So I did a lot of talking. Way more talking than I like. I was hoarse every day. I didn't go to trivia on Wednesday night because I was sick of talking.

It was a nice week, though.

I have the next couple of days off. I might actually get holiday cards sent this year. We'll see.

some things I forgot about

A couple weeks ago I was driving the 2. As I approached the bus stop at 3rd Street and Cedar Avenue, I watched a guy take a run at the bus shelter and kick the glass. He backed up and did it again. And again. And again.

As I neared the stop, I honked my horn. He stopped when he saw me and walked over to the curb. By then I had called Control. I pulled over and stopped. But I didn't open the door. When he realized that I wasn't going to open the door, he started screaming obscenities at me. I had, of course, stopped so that I could get a better description of the guy for Control.
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You know I love it when I get asked if I go to Cubs or Targets. The other day a lady asked me if I stopped near White Castles.

Just one, ma'am.
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That same day, a guy kept telling me that I drive like a pimp.
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The day after that, I was amused to see a woman hand two free (M*tro Tr*nsit) bus ride coupons to a guy who had a sign that read:

NEED BUS FARE TO FIND WORK

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I've seen Oz a few times recently. It had been quite a while since I'd seen him. He wasn't doing very well. That is, I think he was messed up on a couple things. But still, it's always good to see him and chat with him. He offered to give me money if I wanted some. I declined. Then, ten minutes later, he wanted to talk to me about maybe giving him some help. Which means money.
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Monday I got the finger twice. Sometimes I deserve it. Sometimes I don't. I think these were unwarranted. Either way, it's been a while.

In the morning, I got the finger from a guy who was mad at me because I pulled out into the lane after making a stop and he couldn't take a right turn in front of me at a stop light. No one was immediately behind me when I pulled out. I noticed that the bus was really sluggish getting through that intersection.

In the evening, a woman making a left turn from oncoming traffic lost her turn arrow and gave me the finger when I had the gall to lay on my horn as she turned in front of me with my green light and I braked my way through the intersection.

move it

Everyone got in my way this morning.

Most notable were:

• The semi backing into a parking lot north of Franklin, stopping all southbound traffic on Lyndale shortly before 8:00 this morning.
• The firefighters who had Lyndale completely blocked off at around 9:15.
• Minivans.

I think I'll take a nap now.