gag reflex in overdrive

Kassie and I went to her parents' cabin for the long weekend. It was quite relaxing. We had a good time.

I woke up Friday morning with a very angry uvula. It hurts and it's resting on the back of my tongue, which makes me gag. It's still pretty ticked off, but we're home now. The cabin was super-dry. I'm hoping it's better in the morning.

...

40. Ugh.

idiot

On my way back to the garage this morning, I failed to steer around a car that had not completely cleared the intersection. I scuffed and dented his rear bumper. This is the bus. I'm a total moron.

oh yeah...

I got a letter from the doctor. My guts are good.

too much information

You've been warned.

My judgment is impaired. I'm all doped up on some kind of Valium substitute and some kind of codeine substitute.

Perhaps you noticed that I enjoyed a couple enemas this morning. Well, OK, I'm quite sure that the first one did not go as it was supposed to. I only know that because the second one, um, worked. I did not practice giving myself an enema in anticipation of the big day.

When I arrived at the Aspen Medical Group's Digestive Health Center and Clinic, I was assured that it would be OK.

I took off my clothes, I read some National Geographics, a nurse stuck me with an IV.

Then I got wheeled into another room where I was penetrated like a porn starlet. Upper endoscopy, deep into my throat? Check. Flexible sigmoidoscopy, deep into my bum? Check.

I guess the good doctor Rensch (who really was cool) removed some stomach polyps and took some biopsies in my esophagus and small bowels. Whatever...

Fortunately, I remember little-to-none of it. I woke up with a stomach full of gas. Other than that, I feel good. Reeeealllly good.

Kassie picked me up and is heating up some chicken noodle soup for me. I think I'll take a nap.

I have the day off

So...

What should I do? Oh. Yeah.